


Missing You

by thepauperfan



Category: BTOB (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:54:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27719170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepauperfan/pseuds/thepauperfan
Summary: "I spent a day missing you, I spent a year missing you."
Kudos: 1





	Missing You

"LEE MINHYUK!"  
"OPPA!"  
"MINHYUKIE!"

The crowd shouted as I walk towards the van. Before I enter I gave them a wink then slipped inside.  
"Good job Heota! Obviously, even Youngjae was impressed." Joon hyung, my manager clapped his hands. I just finished filming a variety show and now I'm off to a fan signing event.  
"Do I have time to sleep hyung?" I grabbed my squirrel pillow from him.  
"No, you don't." my stylist and make-up artist, Hyuri moved from the back to the sit next to me then took out her make-up tools."The venue is not that far."  
"Aish"  
"Ya!" she hit me on my forehead."Stop cursing."  
"Wae? Wae? Wae?!" I rubbed the part she hit."If this marks, I'll tell my fans you did it."  
"Don't worry Minhyukie, I'll put generous amount of concealer." she teased.  
"Stop it, you two. CEO is calling."  
I stuck my tongue out while Hyuri made face. She then started to re-touch my make-up. Everyone who doesn't know us might think I should hire someone to replace her because we argue a lot. But, Hyuri is a good friend since Junior high. She's been with me every step of my career, from rookie years until now. Plus, it is really comfortable to have her than anyone else.

\--

They were louder when I took the stage.  
"Hi!" I bowed."I'm Lee Minhyuk."  
The event started really good. I sang 2 songs then began to sign albums. This is my favorite part of my job, meeting my fans.  
"Hi!" a girl wearing a shirt that read: Lee Minhyuk's wife is the next fan to receive my signature. She looks like she's in her early 20's. Her face is not new, I've seen her countless times in fan meets, concerts and guestings. One of the smiles I've been looking forward to.  
"Hi!" I answered."Jin Hee?" she handed me her album for me to sign.  
"Yes, you still remember." she smiled widely."Oh, oppa I have something for you." she fished something out of her canvass knapsack. It was a red scarf which she shyly draped around my neck.  
"I made this for your birthday. Happy Birthday, Minhyuk oppa!"  
"Really? Whoa! Thank you!"

\--

"Ya!" Hyuri almost shouted at my ear while getting the pile of gifts fans gave me.  
"What?"  
"Stop spacing out! We're at  
the middle of fan signing here."  
I smiled at the next fan as I snapped back to reality.

"Minhyukah!" Hyuri followed me at the waiting room after the event, holding a two-layered fondant cake with a huge squirrel- that happened to be my nickname.  
"Happy Birthday!"  
"Thank you!" I patted her head and blew the candles. "Now, where's your gift?"  
"This is my gift." she placed the cake on the table in front of us.  
"Ya! This is from my fans." she just laughed."You're doing this every year. When will you ever have a proper gift for my birthday?"  
"Do you even give gifts on my birthdays?" she rolled her eyes at me.  
"Well, I always take you out to dinner."

Joon hyung and two other men appeared at the door with handful of gifts they collected from the fans who didn't get to come inside the venue. They put it on the corner of the room where the other gifts are. I stood up and started rummaging them.  
"What are you looking for?" Jin Hee asked from her seat. I grabbed a random squirrel plushie and threw it at her.  
Really? You are expecting anything from her? What were you thinking? It has been so long and you still can't get it out of your system?  
Joon hyung approached me and handed me a piece of paper." This also came in the mail today. Just make sure CEO won't know."  
The moment I saw it I already know that it's not just a random letter.  
"Thank you." I said, staring at it.  
Joon hyung tapped me on the shoulder and left.  
I was so absorbed in the moment, my heart began to beat fast that I didn't notice Hyuri was already peering behind me.  
"Is that from Jin Hee?"  
I stepped outside.

\--

A familiar girl is standing in front of my house instead of Joon hyung. Her face became pale as she looks at me.  
"M-Minhyuk o-oppa?" she barely managed to utter my name.  
I was taken aback myself."W-Wha-" I have no words. Joon hyung will kill me. How did she know my place?  
Quivering, she checked her phone then face palmed herself."B-By any chance, did you order a cake?" she raised the box she's holding with her left hand. I grabbed her and let her in. We were standing there for too long. Some people or media might pass by and if someone saw her here this is too good for an article.  
"Oppa..Minhyuk oppa, I'm sorry."  
"Sit down." I told her as soon as we reached the living room. "How did you know I live here?" I asked. I hope I didn't sound annoyed, I'm just confuse that's all.  
"Look," she closed her eyes firmly before opening them again."I'm not a sassaeng. I just happened to be stupid and overlooked the address. I didn't know you live here." her voice is still shaking but this time her face is as red as the Santa hat she's wearing. Right! She's wearing that button down shirt with a familiar cafe logo embroidered on it. She's delivering and got the wrong address.  
I let out a laugh and sat down on the couch beside her. "I'm sorry for acting up. I just didn't expect I'd see you so random."  
"Me too." she whispered."Do you really live here? Am I really breathing the same air with you? Am I really with you? Right now..Am I dreaming?"  
I grinned. She looks so adorable.  
"Yes, I live here. Yes, I'm here in front of you. And no, you are not dreaming."  
She threw both of her hands to cover her mouth as if things just started to sink in.  
"Please don't tell anyone. It's all my fault. I didn't check the intercom, I thought you were Joon hyung." Crap! Joon hyung!

The doorbell buzzed again, Joon hyung flashed on the intercom screen.  
I felt a sudden rush in in my blood as if I am hiding something. But I am not, so I just need to get away from this.  
"I'll go get that."  
"Ah, oppa I need to go ahead. I have errands to do." she stood up with her box of cake.  
"Right, come on." Jin Hee trailed behind me.

"Yah! Slow poke." Joon hyung said as I opened the gate to let him in.  
He shifted his eyes to Jin Hee.  
"You are?"  
"M-My friend. She's Jin Hee." I lied. I know where this is going if Joon hyung knew that she is a fan.  
"You are my friend?" Jin Hee whispered staring at me.  
Oh gosh. What is wrong with you? I looked at her helplessly.  
"No, you are not. You are trying to fool no one. How did you get here? You even brought a cake."  
I palmed my face.  
I explained everything to him but he still wanted to talk to Jin Hee and made me go to my room. I understand that this is hyung's job but sometimes I think he's being too much.

\--

I heard the door opened.  
"Yah, Minhyukah let's go back to the agency." it was Hyuri's voice.  
Jin Hee's letter feels hot on my hand. I can't even find the courage to open it. I put it in my pocket before Hyuri take it away from me.  
"Can I go alone?" I said as we walk on the hallway.  
If Hyuri heard what I said, she chose to ignore it.  
We reached the parking and Joon hyung was already there.  
"Hyung, can I borrow your car?" Joon hyung looked at me with worried face.  
"Come on, it's my birthday. I'll be back for the radio guesting."  
Hyung threw his keys at me."I am trusting you Heota."  
"What? You are letting him off?" I heard Hyuri protested. But I already reached the car.  
I tried to avoid the way to her workplace but this is where I am really heading to anyway. I stopped in front of the cafe. I know I can't see her here. But going here for the first time after she left makes me feel her presence. As if she's with me, as if like before, I am dropping her off to work.  
I was about to start the engine when a girl in a blue dress entered the cafè. Long, wavy, brown hair. I felt cold. It felt like my heart would jump off my chest. Is it really her? Is she really Jin Hee? I needed to breathe. When did she arrive?

The more I look at her from my car, the more I pity myself. I could've stare at her face to face for the rest of my life but look at me now. If it wasn't for me being coward. If it wasn't for me who was afraid to shout to the world what she really is in my life.

Suddenly, I heard tapping on my car.

\--

I opened the window for Miyeon, Jin Hee's co-worker.

"Yah! Lee Minhyuk! Jin Hee unnie is almost done. " she slid her hands to the car's horn. It was a loud 'beep-beep' that even the customers inside the cafe looked at our direction.

"Aish!" I hissed at her jokingly while she laugh. Jin Hee went out with her bag. Her shift is done.  
"Ya Kang Miyeon! Do you have a death wish? Someone might see him here." Jin Hee did a whisper shout at Miyeon. Miyeon did a peace sign and ran inside the cafe.  
"Sorry.." she slipped inside the car.  
I just smiled at her and took a red rose I bought, from the backseat.  
"And this is for?" she accepted it with confuse eyes.  
"N-Nothing" I started the car.  
"Nothing huh?" she smiled while staring at it.  
"Where are we going now?" she pressed the radio and the song 'Hug Me' filled the car. She sang along with it. It is her favorite.  
"As usual." I told her. Since I can't date her in public, we usually drive for miles and miles with no direction at all just to be able to be with each other.  
"How was your day?" she is always curious of how the industry I am in, works. Especially when I tell her that I get to talk to her favorite actors and idols.  
"Variety show, I was with EXID's Hani and SJ's Heechul hyung."  
"Waaa! Heechul oppa!" she danced SJ's "Mr. Simple" on her seat. "Ya! I heard, you were the MC of Music Bank today. I wasn't able to watch it since I'm on duty. Who did it with you? Sungjae? Eunkwang-oppa?"  
I let out a sigh. I know I can't get away with it because she can just google it but I get really nervous everytime."Moonbyul"  
"Aigoo, Mamamoo's Moonbyul-yi? Your twin." she started to get sarcastic. I have worked with a lot of female idols and actresses; Kim So Hyun, Twice's Naeun but it's Moonbyul whom she gets most jealous.  
"Jin Hee-ah,"  
"It's okay." she cut me off.

Lai Kuanlin's solo played on the radio. I laughed at myself because I know it's time to get back at her..  
"You can sing a long if you want."  
"No, I'm good."she said firmly.  
"Aigoo," I mimicked her voice earlier."Wanna One's Lai Kuanlin? The one you cheered on at SBS Inkigayo instead of me?"  
She laughed."Yah! If you don't stop, I'll get off. Plus, Kuanlin is years younger."  
"It's okay. Kuanlin is taller and have a nicer built. I'm a 7-year-old next to him."I am good friends with Kuanlin. We have the same agency. It's just funny to tease Jin Hee when I know she also stans him. The kid is talented.  
"For the nth time. I just cheered on him that night because Joon oppa banned me from seeing you. If he saw me on your lane, who knows what he could've done. But you see, doing that made me see you perform so shut up."  
"You are joking," we are up for our second lap."In our agency, I am your bias but Kuanlin is your bias wrecker. Did I use the terms right?"  
"How about you? You are an idol but you are going out with a fan. Should I just tweet right now? Should I send our photos to Dispatch?"  
"Heol. Okay, I'll stop." I was laughing while raising my free hand to the air as if to surrender.  
She laughed too."I'm sorry I got upset."  
I slowly reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

Raindrops tap the car window.  
I pulled out my phone off my hoodie's pocket and opened it. It's already 8:00 PM and I should go back for the radio guesting. When I took a last glance inside the café, Jin Hee's standing near the glass window staring blankly at the car. Our eyes met, except the car is tinted.

"Jin Hee-ah" I whispered. God knows how much I want to step out, grab her hand and runaway with her like the old times. But, things are different now.  
I turned on the car's wiper to dry the glass but rain just kept falling.

인형 (Doll) remake of Lee Ji Hoon and Shin Hye Sung

"achimi oneun sorie nan jami deureoyo oneuldo yeoksi geudae  
nal itgo bonaesseonneunji geureokedo swipge gwaenchanheul su inneunji u~"  
(At the sound of the coming morning, I fall asleep  
Did you spend this day as you forgot about me again?  
How can you be alright so easily like that?)

"hangsang byeonhami eobseotdeon geudae tteonagan ge mideul su eobseo himdeureotjyo  
geunyang geureoke seoroga jogeumssik ichyeo gagetjyo saranghandan mal jochado  
soyongeopgetjyo"  
(You used to never change, but I can't believe you left, it was so hard  
We'll just forget about each other little by little  
saying I love you would be useless)

"mianhaeyo igijeogin nayeotjyo saranghandan iyuro nae gyeoteman duryeo haesseotdeon geollyo  
geuraeyo nan gajang jungyohangeol moreugo isseotjyo  
saranghandamyeon geudaega eonjena haengbokhaeyajyo"  
(I'm sorry, I was selfish  
I tried to put you by my side with just the reason of love  
Yes, I didn't know the most important thing  
If I love you, you should always be happy)

" bogo sipgetjyo geugeon eojjeol su eopgetjyo hajiman himdeuljin anke halgeyo  
handongan manhi apa ulda jichyeo geudaereul chatgetjyo  
singyeong sseuji marayo nan  
jamsippunil tenikka"

(I'll miss you, that I can't help  
But I won't make it hard for you  
It'll hurt a lot and I'll cry and look for you for a while  
Don't worry about me  
Because it'll only be momentary)

"Wow," Seojun was in awe as I ended the song. "The emotions felt real."  
The pain is real, yes. I had to wipe my tears using the back of my hand before anyone could notice. "Ohh, because that is really a nice song. I have to sing it with equal emotions."  
"Or in any way, can you somehow relate to the song?"  
Seeing Jin Hee after all of this made me realize that I have loved her and still loving her. I sighed deeply. I know, after this guesting, Joon Hyung will get damn mad. But maybe at least I got to finally say, what I wanted to say.  
I grabbed the mic."Ya, if you are listening. I'm really sorry. I could've hold on to you all my life if only I deserve you."  
"Daebak!" Seojun covered his mouth with his hand."Are you allowed to say that?" looking confuse he threw glances to everyone at the booth.  
I just shrugged. We ended with Seojun still in shock, I being number 1 on search engines and CEO-nim calling on Joon Hyung's phone.

I went out and hurriedly walked towards the fire exit.

\--

"Yah, what are you doing here?" I found Jin Hee sitting on the staircase. I followed her when I saw her waving along with fans who came to support me today.  
"I really miss you."  
I sat beside her."I miss you but I have to get back to work. Filming will start soon."  
"I know. This will only take a while, I just want to see you." she handed me a paper bag filled with snacks.  
I stopped and looked at her."Spill."  
"Spill what?" she snorted.  
"You are not like this. You won't go here at my work so random." True. She never give gifts personally, she usually mix it up with others' gifts and I'll be shock when I see them later on.  
She sighed deeply."I think, I'll be going home to the Philippines soon. My mom called last night." Jin Hee is half Filipina and all of her family members except his Dad is in the Philippines.  
"Oh, that's good. Take a vacation. Afterall, your work in the café is really stressful."  
"I think, I'll have to quit that and stay in Manila for the mean time. My mom's friend offers me a job there."  
I was lost in a moment then suddenly I am shaking my head telling her not to go."No."  
"Minhyukah..I want to stay here with you. But I am thinking of wanting to have a better job there too with my whole family. Appa decided to move with me as well."  
"How about me?"  
"That's," she stopped, close her eyes then opened them again."That's what I came here for. If I am going to leave, am I leaving something? Am I leaving you?"  
"Are you really asking that?"  
She shook her head."I'm getting crazy. If I choose to be here with you is it really worth it? Tell me. What are we?"  
I sat there like a stone. I haven't asked myself that in a while. I'm just happy, I know she is too. Isn't that enough?  
"I like you, okay?"  
"Yah, you like Sohyun too, Naeun, Bomi, Byul-yi." her voice cracked."Can you give me an answer that would be worthy of my stay? I went here without thinking because I want everything to be clear at least before I leave."  
I was quiet. I don't know. It was as if my body was splashed by cold water. Do I deserve her? I may hurt her. I am hurting her.  
I grabbed her hand and pull her into a hug. "I just want you to stay with me, Don't go." Yes, I am too selfish.  
"Why? Tell me. Why do I have to stay?"  
I wanted to say how much she really mean to me. But mind is clouded and didn't know where to start. She let go when I didn't answer.  
"Why did I even fall for this?" then she left.

I sat on the staircase for a moment to regain myself.

"S-So, she doesn't deserve you huh?" it was Hyuri's voice. Seemed like she got here even before I did.

Hyuri never liked her or at least the idea of Jin Hee and I being a thing. She kept on telling me media will know and I should be responsible for the consequences. Though worried, I was adamant to keep her. Mainly because I wanted to be with her, it made me really happy. 

"Stop it already."

"Do you remember when I told you Jin Hee left and will never come back?" How can I forget? I mean, that was the day I almost lost myself. "Why didn't you go after her? Why didn't you ask me why she left without any notice?"  
I brushed my hair with my fingertips. It's too cold here but it felt like I adjusted to the cold.  
"Because I know the reason already. She left me because I kept her waiting for too long, she left because she was hurting."  
"And you didn't think you can change that?"  
I shook my head even if I'm not sure if she can see."I thought that I've hurt her that the only thing I can give her is to let her go when she wants to."  
I heard her sigh. "You really don't deserve her."  
"Hyuri-ah, I regret every decision I made." Hyuri's footsteps came near then she sat beside me."But what can I do? We were a mess. I didn't know where to start so before I knew it, it ended just like that."  
"Talk to her, chebal. She deserves to hear every single reason why you let her leave. It's not like it would change anything but at least she'll know. Do her a favor."  
I palmed my face."She's here."  
"What? She's here?"  
I nodded."Saw her at the cafe earlier."  
There was silence. Or if Hyuri is talking, it seems like I'm not hearing anything.

"Lee Minhyuk!" Joon hyung pushed the door.

"Follow me."

It seemed urgent I had to keep his pace. He led me to my waiting room.

"Anj-a." 

I did. He gave me his phone. I almost threw it when I saw Jin Hee on the screen being confronted by fans.

"Why did she go in the staircase with you? She's the girl I met on your house months ago right? Are you going out with her?" hyung fired questions at me.  
I gave his phone back and lied helplessly on the couch. "Please make people stay away from her." I grunt. My heart is beating so fast I don't know what to do. I want to run to her right at this moment but I don't want to make things more complicated as it is.  
"You are now number 1 on the search engines. Lee Minhyuk dating a fan." he browses his phone while his other phones are ringing too. Probably, media, Ceo-nim or everyone who wants to know if it is true. They are all out to get me.  
"I'm sorry hyung. I just--"  
"Let's talk about this later." he interrupted."Get dressed so we could finish the shoot early and deal with this."  
Still troubled, I stood up and put on the PJs that I have to wear for the filming. Hyuri get in the room looking all worried.  
"Is everything alright now?" hyung asked her."Well, like anything is going to be alright after this." hyung started to take calls telling people that he'll talk to the agency and release a statement first thing in the morning tomorrow.  
Hyuri turned to me."I made all the fans stay away from her but you understand that this is for the mean time right? You have to do something, if you want to protect Jin Hee. She grabbed her make-up tools and walked towards me."  
"Hyuri-ah"  
"Don't," she pointed her make-up brush at me."It's not like I didn't warn you about this."  
I sighed deeply."How can I not like anyone?" It is a realization more than it is a question.  
"You are an idol." Hyuri said.  
She started to put make-up on my bare face. Now that she's near me, I noticed that her face is all red and she's almost tearing up.  
"Are you okay?"I asked worriedly. Cupping her cheeks with my hands.  
She tapped my forehead."Close your eyes."  
I didn't. I just stare at her thinking of what is bothering her.  
"Yah! Close your eyes! I'm okay, you should think of your problem not mine."

"Jigum, Minhyukah it's your turn to call." filming started and noona told me to prank call a female idol and ask to go on a date with me. I don't know if they're doing this to cover up what happened. When I looked at Joon hyung, it was as if he's telling me that it's the right thing to do.

"Yeoboseyo?" the girl on the other line answered.

"Namjoon, naya oppa dul."

I called Apink's Namjoon because she's one of my closest friends and she called me as well before for a radio show."

"Oh, Minhyuk oppa? Waeyo?"

I was hesitant to continue but it felt like everyone wants me to do this. Aish!

"Namjoonie, on the Christmas eve party at our agency. Can you be my date?"

She laughed."Yah," she laughed again."Jinjja?!"

"They are really close." noona said.

As soon as the filming ended, I ran towards my waiting room and changed my clothes. I scooped my baseball cap and my face mask when Hyuri get inside the room.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I need to talk to her."

She put her right hand on her waist. She does this everytime she's going to scold me but I need nothing of that right now."And make the situation worse? No, ga ji ma."

"Hyuri ah, you told me to fix this. I'm going to."

"Mianhae but this is not what everyone wants."

"Hyuri ah" my knees are getting weak. I need to be strong and face this, I want to but to be honest I don't know how.

Joon hyung slammed the door open.

"Yah, Hyuri I told you to keep that guy off the staircase." he scratched his almost bald hair. When I debuted, he had a lot of hair. I tease him a lot but I sometimes think that he's having a hard time managing me. "The last thing that the Ceo wants is another dating issue Minhyukah."

Hyuri and I stood up then followed hyung outside.

"What's the title of the articles?" Hyuri asked. 

I threw a glare."Yah!"

"Lee Minhyuk's almost, Gwaenchana Minhyukah, Mianhae Minhyuk." hyung answered."Jin Hee's photos are re-surfacing the internet."

"I don't know if I have the right to suggest but can you call someone who could make another good article and make Jin Hee out of this?"

"Yeah, I could tell the CEO. Afterall, what you said on the broadcast earlier is quite giving a good impact."

"Can he go now? Can he celebrate his birthday on his own?" I was shocked those words will came out of Hyuri's mouth. I looked at her and she just mouthed What?

"Maybe, just don't let people see you."

"Kamsahae." I hugged Jin Hee and kissed her on the forehead then bowed at the both of the, before leaving.

I hopped in the car but before starting the engine, I grabbed my baseball cap where I put Jin Hee's letter.

Minhyuk-ah,

Saengil Chukaeh! How are you? If you're reading this, then maybe Joon oppa miraculously let it slide.

I know this is not necessary since we haven't talk for a really long time. But, I somehow want you to know everything. Well, maybe just for the sake of letting you know.

First, I have loved you. Come on, you know that. I knew it the moment I had to stop from talking just to stare at you. The more we hang out together, the more I realize that I am seeing beyond what others can see. You are a greater person in real life. People should know that. I grew fond of you each day, I must say. Even though sometimes when I miss you and can't see you I had to just turn on the television. You were smiling so bright on broadcasts that sometimes I think that was for me. I was in cloud 9. Just imagine that I got to see that face or I got to hold that hand without actually lining up or paying. Then, I started to have questions which I know I was too ambititious to even ask. But, I was holding on for too long that I wanted to know my place. I wanted your dramas, pairing up and dating issues to hurt less. I wanted to claim you. I knew I was selfish but..can't I? Don't I have all the rights to be selfish? Maybe I didn't.

I didn't leave. Well, not yet. Because I still kind of wished that you would knock on my door or you would look for me one of these days. I still kind of waited that you will come to me and answer all the questions I have in my head. But I guess, that's it. I gave all the opportunities I can give. I'm flying home to the Philippines. I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused until this letter. Sorry too about Hamo. :(  
Komawuh Minhyukah, for everything.

Jin Hee

My tears can't stop from dripping. If only Jin Hee knew that I have loved her too and I am still.

I hurriedly started the engine and made my way out of the building.

I went out and closed the car door. This is the last place. I've searched for her to the places I know she would go but I can't seem to find her. No one can tell me where she went, including Miyeon. She just told me that she went for a walk because her flight is tomorrow morning. It freaked me out, what if she'll go without letting me se her? I may really loose it this time, both my chance and myself.

The cold wind blew as I approached. It made the trees dance and the leaves fall. She's there. She's sitting on the bench looking up the stars. I stared at her for a long time. While debating with my self what to tell her because I honestly can't figure it out yet. I hate it! Why can't I still find the words to say? She stood up as if preparing to leave when our eyes met.

"J-Jin Hee" I uttered her name.  
She gave me a faint smile."Look who's here, the one who doesn't deserve me."  
I noticed a can on her left hand.  
"You've been drinking?" I went closer to her.  
"Ahh, this?" she raised it to the air."Yes, I had one. It's cold." she ditched the can to the trash bin.  
Her eyes are swollen and her cheeks are getting pinkish. Jin Hee can never handle alcohol. But despite the smell of it, her strawberry perfume still lingers. I missed that. God, I miss her.

"So? What brings you here? Did Joon oppa gave it to you? I thought he won't." she brushed her hair with her fingers."I'm sure of leaving this time, so yeah. See you when I see you."  
She was about to walk away when she tripped on the root of the enormous tree. I seized her arm to avoid her fall and hugged her, real tight.

She loosen up my arms and pulled out."What do you need from me now?"

"Mianhae, jungmal mianhae."

Jin Hee's shoulder started to slowly shake. Tears race from her eyes.

"I-I thought I am fine. I was. N-Not until I hear your radio guesting not until I see you." she sobbed. Wiping away the tears by the back of her small hands."You know what, it's really unfair. I have worked hard to be worthy of you. How can you be such an @ss to decide on your own and tell the whole world that you don't deserve me?"

"Mianhae. I was scared." I lowered my head. I can't look at her crying again because of me."Fans, agency, CEO-nim."

"And you didn't think I can put up with that?"

"I can't put up with that. I can't afford to let anyone hurt you."

She was silent for a while."And you hurt me instead. I'm sorry for getting tired of going to nothing and just sit there on your car waiting for our time to be up. I'm sorry that I needed certain place to go."

"But damn, I have loved you. I may not have shown it but-"

"No," she interrupted."You actually made me feel loved. A lot that I stayed. A lot that I had to go. You were holding on to me so tight that I didn't expect you'll just let me go you know, like that."

Rain suddenly poured really hard. I grabbed her and led her to the car. I turned on the engine so she won't be cold. I handed her a box of tissue from the backseat.

"Mianhae."

She stopped wiping herself and turned to me."I get it already. And I've already forgiven you." I wish she didn't. The moment she said that I know there's no longer a chance for me, for us.

I heaved out a sigh."I'm pathetic am I? I wasted a whole year, no, actually I wasted everything that we could've been."

She smiled at me."Maybe I was just too ambitious to even said hello to begin with. I mean, you are Lee Minhyuk. Maybe that wench was right."

"Who?"

"There's this fan watching with me on Dream Team, the one you set a record for having the highest jump." I nodded."She saw my wallpaper. It was you and I hugging each other. She laughed at me telling me I was too ambitious. Do you think you'll be together for real? The nearest you can get is a fanmeet. Quote, unquote. I must've tie my banner around her neck."

"But Jin Hee ah, you had me. You can tell everyone that. Tell everyone that I am head over heels for you. That I don't know how can I forget about you, cause I don't really know how." I palmed my face with the both of my hands then lied on the steering wheel. I am trying my best to hold everything in.

"Yah," she took my right hand and hold it."I have loved you too. You had me too. Eventhough I know no one would even care. But, maybe this is the ending we need. Knowing that we've been a part of each other. Thank you for letting me have this. Thank you for making my dreams come true too."

I parked in front of her house.  
"So, this is it." I turned to her, she was smiling at me.  
"Yes, I'll be off to Philippines exactly after 7 hours."  
"Before you leave, may I ask. Sungjae had a fanmeet in the PH recently and when he got back he kept on saying "sama-sama tayo palagi" he doesn't even know what's the meaning of that."  
"Uhm, it's like being together thru ups and downs. Having each other's back. Or just simply: let's be together, always." Jin Hee smiled then left.

I remember someone.

My phone rung..

Hyuri calling...

\- END


End file.
